A man with a bald head and a wooden leg got invited to a fancy dress party. He couldn’t come up with a costume to wear to hide his head and his leg so he wrote to a fancy dress company to explain the problem.
A few days later he received a parcel with a note. "Dear Sir, please find enclosed a pirate outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and with your wooden leg you will be just right as a pirate."
The man thought this was terrible because they have just emphasized his wooden leg and so he wrote a really rude letter of complaint. A week passed and he received another parcel and a note which says "Dear Sir, sorry about before, please find enclosed a monk habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and with your bald head you will really look the part."
Now the man was really annoyed since they had gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to emphasizing his bald head and he wrote the company a REALLY rude letter of complaint.
The next day he received a small parcel and a note which read "Dear Sir, please find enclosed a jar of caramel. Pour the jar of caramel over your bald head, stick your wooden leg up your ass and go as a candied apple!"